To Speak or Not to Speak - J. Aday Kennedy

To Speak or Not to Speak

I don't speak audibly unless someone adjusts my ventilator and artificial trach. In fact for the first four years after I became ventilator-dependent I spoke only during IPPB treatments, because my leak at my stoma was too great. Not enough air crossed my vocal chords.

The trache sits above my vocal chords. There's a balloon that blocks secretions from? sliding into my lungs. When the balloon is deflated air can cross over my vocal chords.? When it's inflated (it's normal state) I'm silent, and people must read my lips.

It's horribly isolating. I'm mute and must observe and not take part much of the time. If I had full use of my hands I could speak with sign language. I'm classified as a quadriplegic. My right arm is immobile and I've got only partial use of my right arm and hand. The ulnar nerve was affected by the stroke, and my ring finger and pinkie finger curl and my hand strength and dexterity is minimal. ?

The Bivona talking trach enables me to speak for limited periods of time.? In order to speak I've got to consciously trigger the ventilator for each breath. It's similar to singing. A singer must breathe deeply in order to hold a note. If I forget to trigger the ventilator to breathe then I wouldn't get a breath.

When I learned of the custom trach a world of opportunity opened to me. The frustrating thing is that it's so expensive. I change my trach every 6 weeks and must decide if for that 6 weeks I will be silent or speak. The cost is roughly? $250 for a regular trach and over twice that for a talking trach.

Karen returned to California and I can schedule any speaking engagements for October. In the interest of saving money this? time, I'll opt for silence.? I 've enjoyed three months of speech during Karen's visit.? I've got no reason or overt need to speak other than just WANT.

Writing Progress

A Journey of Laughter Through? Tears Part II Word Count 5,816

At 7:00 pm I fell asleep and didn't wake up until 10:00 pm in a panic, because I hadn't blogged or done my? Bible study. Sorry I'm late.

By Jessica Aday Kennedy

The Differently-Abled Writer and Speaker

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Source: http://jadaykennedy.blogspot.com/2012/09/to-speak-or-not-to-speak.html

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